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After cutting a piece of wood with my antique radial arm saw, I turned to retrieve the pencil I had used to mark the cut: the vibration of the saw had made it roll off the table and onto the floor. When I bent down to pick it up, however, I felt something odd, because I had forgotten to return the end of the saw – and now the rotating blade was showing up at my rear!
Fortunately, the 14 plastic cards in my wallet saved me from harm, so only my ego was hurt. After this happened, of course, I was the ass (ha!) Of jokes like “in the end you will make it”, “your credit has been cut”, “you are a walking disaster”, etc. I’ll tell you one thing: it will never happen again, because I got rid of it right away
who has seen! –Carlo Ingle
The long and the short of it
I was assembling a wardrobe in the small woodworking shop where I work while my boss unpacking a shipment from one of our suppliers. “That damned Fryburg,” he complained. “Some of these parts are 8” too long and some 8 “too short.”
“Well,” I replied, “at least they’re averaging.” We made a few more derogatory remarks back and forth about the offending supplier before I realized the bottom of the cabinet was too long. “Ah”, I smiled. “You should wait until your ducks are all lined up before criticizing Fryburg. You cut this bottom of locker 2 “too long.”
As I approached the circular saw to cut the bottom again, Aden remarked, “You better make sure your measurements are correct.” I knew it was only half serious, but I checked again and gave it a double try. If it weren’t for his warning, I would have cut the bottom an inch too short! –Emery Yoder
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